march 5, 2024
Interview:
march 5, 2024
astro katari
Kiltro Tristán
“When I think about us I think a lot about compromise, learning to survive together, being able to help each other, supporting each other.”
︎ Hello, my name is Kiltro, I’m 26. I’m indigenous – mapuche – and I’m an artist and sex worker. I enjoy biking, traveling, and being out in nature. I’m moved by creating, art, photography, where us trans people feel represented. I consider myself a rural faggot and have strong pride in it. I met astro in 2021 and have felt a very strong connection with him since then, we are currently married and sharing a house. I moved to the city around 2 years ago, it has been a wild adventure for me! I also recently met Luciano, we have shared creative experiences together in photography/performance. We were romantically involved for a while. I sent the submission to Almanac with some of my drawings, a photo collaboration I did with Luciano. And some shared experiences I had with my husband around being asexual, both transmasc, and dating. After I got selected I decided to invite my husband to the interview, I also then invited Luciano to this creative process since they were also in the photos that got selected.
︎ Hi! My name is astro. I’m a gay tranny. I do many things but I don’t know which of those define me. I like tattooing, drawing, skating and book binding. I work as a janitor to earn (some of) my living. I’m Kiltro’s partner and husband!! I live in Wallmapu, land colonized by the Chilean State. My dream is to have a house of my own so I can have a trans shelter, and work for my community and not just to pay rent.
︎
My name is Luciano, but I’m known as Luciano Houdini as my artistic nickname. I am 29 years old and I am a non binary person, performer, experimental model, sexual worker and elementary teacher. I met Tristan before christmas time in 2022 and then we started having a relationship from that period until now. We both think that it was necessary to talk about HIV experience because I live with that condition, so we consider that it is important to talk about how this topic affects our sexuality and the daily routine as a couple. Besides, we both are sexual workers, so it has been interesting to analyze how we can deal with work stuff and our feelings as well.
ALMANAC PRESS: How would you describe the relationship you have?
KILTRO: When I think about us I think a lot about compromise, learning to survive together, being able to help each other, supporting each other.
We’ve built ways of communicating that make sense to us. Keeping a house together hasn’t been easy, but it’s really worth a try. He has his own bedroom and so do I, even though we consider ourselves very adaptable to what we need/have at the moment. We live a non-monogamous life; I am currently dating astro and Luciano so we are constantly learning along the way. astro and I recently turned one year being legally married! It’s been a huge learning process and enjoyable experience so far, with everything that comes with it. Sometimes we look at eachother and go like “oh shit we are married!“
Our partnership is about responsibility with each other, honesty, and being sincere with your own needs. It’s also about having fun and transitioning together! Being able to grow old with your partner is truly special. Seeing him grow everyday makes me feel so many things inside. I also feel very accepted as a sex worker in this relationship, I can rely on him when I go out to work, I feel taken care of by him.
KILTRO: When I think about us I think a lot about compromise, learning to survive together, being able to help each other, supporting each other.
We’ve built ways of communicating that make sense to us. Keeping a house together hasn’t been easy, but it’s really worth a try. He has his own bedroom and so do I, even though we consider ourselves very adaptable to what we need/have at the moment. We live a non-monogamous life; I am currently dating astro and Luciano so we are constantly learning along the way. astro and I recently turned one year being legally married! It’s been a huge learning process and enjoyable experience so far, with everything that comes with it. Sometimes we look at eachother and go like “oh shit we are married!“
Our partnership is about responsibility with each other, honesty, and being sincere with your own needs. It’s also about having fun and transitioning together! Being able to grow old with your partner is truly special. Seeing him grow everyday makes me feel so many things inside. I also feel very accepted as a sex worker in this relationship, I can rely on him when I go out to work, I feel taken care of by him.
ALMANAC PRESS: What brought you two together?
ASTRO: The internet lol. We followed each other on instagram. I followed him first, because I thought he was a great trans artist and I loved his work. I also had an art account and we became online friends. It was cool having an older transmasc friend who could give me advice and share his experiences with me.
He loves traveling and always said he would visit me. Covid happened and we had to put that on hold, but when things got better around sept 2021 he finally came to my hometown to meet in person. I was very nervous because I always had a tiny little crush on him… When he got here we basically immediately confessed our feelings for each other and started dating haha
“Colonization has left a huge wound on us and we must do better. I’d like to remind everyone reading this to honor black trans people, indigenous trans people. ”
KILTRO: I think it’s changed for me as the years go by. Nowadays I feel a relationship can be any bond that you have with friends, lovers, platonic connections, etc. I think a relationship now for me means being able to count on someone. It means creating trust, learning what the other person needs, learning what you need and being able to share that. Being able to understand what you can give, and what you can receive from someone. Relationships are sharing intimacy and adventures together!
ALMANAC PRESS: What’s it like for you to be in an interracial relationship?
ASTRO: It’s a journey, like any kind of relationship. Sadly we’ve had no resources or guides on how to do it in our context, but we’ve built our own ways. We hope to share that experience with others through zines or some creative work someday.
For me it’s been an especially humbling experience. In our country, race or racism are topics that we usually don’t talk about or acknowledge. Only indigenous or black communities do the antiracist work. Being the white partner of a brown man, now I have to think about race in a way I hadn’t before because of my white privilege. White people don’t even tend to categorize themselves as white.
So yeah, I can say being in an interracial relationship has changed my perspective in life. Now I try to honor and cherish my indigenous husband; his sacred existence and ancestry. And I challenge myself everyday to expand my antiracist actions to all aspects of my life, not just my relationship.
ASTRO: It’s a journey, like any kind of relationship. Sadly we’ve had no resources or guides on how to do it in our context, but we’ve built our own ways. We hope to share that experience with others through zines or some creative work someday.
For me it’s been an especially humbling experience. In our country, race or racism are topics that we usually don’t talk about or acknowledge. Only indigenous or black communities do the antiracist work. Being the white partner of a brown man, now I have to think about race in a way I hadn’t before because of my white privilege. White people don’t even tend to categorize themselves as white.
So yeah, I can say being in an interracial relationship has changed my perspective in life. Now I try to honor and cherish my indigenous husband; his sacred existence and ancestry. And I challenge myself everyday to expand my antiracist actions to all aspects of my life, not just my relationship.
“It’s a journey, like any kind of relationship. Sadly we’ve had no resources or guides on how to do it in our context, but we’ve built our own ways.”
KILTRO: I think at first it was very difficult for both of us. Recognizing myself as indigenous and brown is something that happened recently for me. I’ve always known, and I experienced racism in my daily life when I was a girl. But things hit different now.
Now I’m a brown man, and people put these labels and expectations on me, like being hypersexual, hypermasculine, aggressive. I see how it’s different for the white people I have around me. As Astro mentioned before, people don’t really talk about this. I started doing that antiracist work in my life and I had multiple white people ditch me because their comfort was more important.
When we first met, Astro had another white partner and being the only brown person in the polycule made things extremely difficult for a while. I felt misunderstood, and having my lived experiences not validated or questioned really hurt me. As time has passed, reparations have been made and things have improved. We do constant check-ins in our relationship, and I’ve seen him be more conscious of the white people and privilege in his life. It’s a daily effort. As a brown person myself I think about racism / antiracism constantly, it’s so instilled in the culture we live in. Colonization has left a huge wound on us and we must do better. I’d like to remind everyone reading this to honor black trans people, indigenous trans people. Their fight is everyone’s fight, it’s sacred. We’ve been constantly fighting for our rights and we have always existed. Decolonize gender.
Now I’m a brown man, and people put these labels and expectations on me, like being hypersexual, hypermasculine, aggressive. I see how it’s different for the white people I have around me. As Astro mentioned before, people don’t really talk about this. I started doing that antiracist work in my life and I had multiple white people ditch me because their comfort was more important.
When we first met, Astro had another white partner and being the only brown person in the polycule made things extremely difficult for a while. I felt misunderstood, and having my lived experiences not validated or questioned really hurt me. As time has passed, reparations have been made and things have improved. We do constant check-ins in our relationship, and I’ve seen him be more conscious of the white people and privilege in his life. It’s a daily effort. As a brown person myself I think about racism / antiracism constantly, it’s so instilled in the culture we live in. Colonization has left a huge wound on us and we must do better. I’d like to remind everyone reading this to honor black trans people, indigenous trans people. Their fight is everyone’s fight, it’s sacred. We’ve been constantly fighting for our rights and we have always existed. Decolonize gender.
ALMANAC PRESS:
What does asexuality mean to you?
KILTRO: For me it means not thinking about sex that much. To consider non-sexual intimacy way ‘hotter’, pun intended. For me it means being able to have deeper connections with others, or at least I’m constantly looking for new ways and kinds of intimacy. It doesn’t necessarily mean I’m sex repulsed. I do enjoy sex with my partners, but I see it more as a shared activity with them. It also meant feeling inadequate for a long time because of my lack-of-sexual life. I no longer feel that way, but since there’s little to no info (especially in Spanish) about being asexual it took a while to figure out how I really felt. Seeing interviews about other asexuals made me realize things and feel less lonely and weird about it. For example, I enjoy BDSM a lot but I think it’s because BDSM feels like a non-normative way of sharing intimacy, playing, and bonding. It’s a huge part of my queer identity just as asexuality is.
KILTRO: For me it means not thinking about sex that much. To consider non-sexual intimacy way ‘hotter’, pun intended. For me it means being able to have deeper connections with others, or at least I’m constantly looking for new ways and kinds of intimacy. It doesn’t necessarily mean I’m sex repulsed. I do enjoy sex with my partners, but I see it more as a shared activity with them. It also meant feeling inadequate for a long time because of my lack-of-sexual life. I no longer feel that way, but since there’s little to no info (especially in Spanish) about being asexual it took a while to figure out how I really felt. Seeing interviews about other asexuals made me realize things and feel less lonely and weird about it. For example, I enjoy BDSM a lot but I think it’s because BDSM feels like a non-normative way of sharing intimacy, playing, and bonding. It’s a huge part of my queer identity just as asexuality is.
ALMANAC PRESS:
What’s it like for you to be in a relationship with someone asexual?
ASTRO: I think it’s cool! I would say I’m very “sex neutral”. If it happens I’m down, if it doesn’t I don’t mind. I have many ace friends and I’ve always vibed with them like I vibe with any queer people. I had another almost-relationship with someone who was ace and very non sexual, and the thought of having a partner who wanted no sex with me wasn’t terrible at all. Maybe it has to do with being non-monogamous and believing people can connect in all sorts of different ways. It’s comforting for me knowing I don’t have to be everything to someone, and I don’t expect another person to be everything for me either.
ASTRO: I think it’s cool! I would say I’m very “sex neutral”. If it happens I’m down, if it doesn’t I don’t mind. I have many ace friends and I’ve always vibed with them like I vibe with any queer people. I had another almost-relationship with someone who was ace and very non sexual, and the thought of having a partner who wanted no sex with me wasn’t terrible at all. Maybe it has to do with being non-monogamous and believing people can connect in all sorts of different ways. It’s comforting for me knowing I don’t have to be everything to someone, and I don’t expect another person to be everything for me either.
“Even though I don’t really see being aromantic as a core part of my identity, it’s a word and a concept that’s brought me a lot of relief”
ALMANAC PRESS:
What’s it like for you to be in a relationship with someone aromantic?
KILTRO: For me it means letting go of the idea that you need the typical ‘heteronormative romance’ to engage in a relationship. It’s meant accepting new ideas about romantic displays of affection, discovering new and very intimate ways of bonding together. It’s also been very healing. Astro being aro makes me feel seen in my asexuality, and it relates to our neurodivergent experiences as well. Afterall, we’re constantly sharing in non-normative ways which makes this relationship very unique in my experience. It’s my first time being in a relationship with someone who’s aromantic. As advice for myself and others if you want to take it; it’s so important to learn your partner’s way of communicating affection, and also accepting there are so many different ways of expressing yourself. So take time to learn which one suits both of you best and remember to be honest with your own feelings and what you can give.
What’s it like for you to be in a relationship with someone aromantic?
KILTRO: For me it means letting go of the idea that you need the typical ‘heteronormative romance’ to engage in a relationship. It’s meant accepting new ideas about romantic displays of affection, discovering new and very intimate ways of bonding together. It’s also been very healing. Astro being aro makes me feel seen in my asexuality, and it relates to our neurodivergent experiences as well. Afterall, we’re constantly sharing in non-normative ways which makes this relationship very unique in my experience. It’s my first time being in a relationship with someone who’s aromantic. As advice for myself and others if you want to take it; it’s so important to learn your partner’s way of communicating affection, and also accepting there are so many different ways of expressing yourself. So take time to learn which one suits both of you best and remember to be honest with your own feelings and what you can give.
ALMANAC PRESS:
Do you feel that being aromantic relates to asexuality?
ASTRO: Yeah, I think it does. They both subvert what “normal” attraction or desire are supposed to be. I think knowing he was ace made it so much easier to share my aromantic feelings. Aromanticness for me also relates to being autistic and non-monogamous. Sometimes I don’t know where my confusion around relationships and romantic expectations comes from, if one or the other or everything. Even though I don’t really see being aromantic as a core part of my identity, it’s a word and a concept that’s brought me a lot of relief. It put a name to some of the stuff I felt and that was great. It also made me feel less lonely to know others had similar feelings.
ASTRO: Yeah, I think it does. They both subvert what “normal” attraction or desire are supposed to be. I think knowing he was ace made it so much easier to share my aromantic feelings. Aromanticness for me also relates to being autistic and non-monogamous. Sometimes I don’t know where my confusion around relationships and romantic expectations comes from, if one or the other or everything. Even though I don’t really see being aromantic as a core part of my identity, it’s a word and a concept that’s brought me a lot of relief. It put a name to some of the stuff I felt and that was great. It also made me feel less lonely to know others had similar feelings.
ALMANAC PRESS: How do you feel about dating someone that does sex work?
ASTRO: I feel normal, and at the same time very strongly about it. For me it’s like asking “how do you feel about dating someone who’s a chef?”, it’s just a job like any other. But also I deeply understand the stigma that it carries. I try to constantly reassure my partner that what he does doesn’t make him ‘dirty’ or a bad person to me. I get very worried about his safety sometimes, or I get sad and angry when clients are shitty. Sometimes I have to be wary of who knows what he does for a living. Like, is this person trustworthy? Or are they judgey as hell?
But yeah, a good compromise between those feelings for me is being an advocate for sex workers. Listening to them, supporting them and challenging people’s negative ideas about them.
ASTRO: I feel normal, and at the same time very strongly about it. For me it’s like asking “how do you feel about dating someone who’s a chef?”, it’s just a job like any other. But also I deeply understand the stigma that it carries. I try to constantly reassure my partner that what he does doesn’t make him ‘dirty’ or a bad person to me. I get very worried about his safety sometimes, or I get sad and angry when clients are shitty. Sometimes I have to be wary of who knows what he does for a living. Like, is this person trustworthy? Or are they judgey as hell?
But yeah, a good compromise between those feelings for me is being an advocate for sex workers. Listening to them, supporting them and challenging people’s negative ideas about them.
“Please build networks with your other trans friends and sex workers, let them know where you’re at via GPS. Remember to take care of yourself”
ALMANAC PRESS: Is there anything you’d like to share about being an asexual sexworker?
KILTRO: I’d share the importance of boundaries. It’s crucial to remember them. Please always listen to your body, don’t have sex if you don’t feel ready to. Don’t take clients if you’re not in a good mood. Remember you can always leave a situation if you don’t feel comfy.
Please build networks with your other trans friends and sex workers, let them know where you’re at via GPS. Remember to take care of yourself. I’d recommend writing a small journal with boundaries / reminders related to sex work, what are you willing and not willing to do. Read it when you feel the need to. I’d also like to ask you all to take care of your local sex workers, it’s very rough out there and we need a hand.
Most importantly, hire other trans sex workers! Don’t be shy to do so, I feel we talk a lot about ‘sex work is work’ but I don’t see my friends paying for sex work. We need to stop feeling shame around it, and actually normalize it as real paid work.
KILTRO: I’d share the importance of boundaries. It’s crucial to remember them. Please always listen to your body, don’t have sex if you don’t feel ready to. Don’t take clients if you’re not in a good mood. Remember you can always leave a situation if you don’t feel comfy.
Please build networks with your other trans friends and sex workers, let them know where you’re at via GPS. Remember to take care of yourself. I’d recommend writing a small journal with boundaries / reminders related to sex work, what are you willing and not willing to do. Read it when you feel the need to. I’d also like to ask you all to take care of your local sex workers, it’s very rough out there and we need a hand.
Most importantly, hire other trans sex workers! Don’t be shy to do so, I feel we talk a lot about ‘sex work is work’ but I don’t see my friends paying for sex work. We need to stop feeling shame around it, and actually normalize it as real paid work.
ALMANAC PRESS:
Do you work with each other on photos and if so how does that affect your relationship?
ASTRO: We’ve worked on content together and it’s fun! It’s also really hot sometimes. Whenever he gets caught up on taking very artsy or specific pics I can get more annoyed but it’s generally a good experience. I always encourage him to make more content with me so he has lots of things to sell. Clients are really cheap and shitty and they don’t buy that many pics tho.
ASTRO: We’ve worked on content together and it’s fun! It’s also really hot sometimes. Whenever he gets caught up on taking very artsy or specific pics I can get more annoyed but it’s generally a good experience. I always encourage him to make more content with me so he has lots of things to sell. Clients are really cheap and shitty and they don’t buy that many pics tho.
“I’d like to build new things, post-porn where transmen are included in the ways we’d like to be seen/shown”
ALMANAC PRESS:
Can you share your experience on how the shoot was made? Who is in the picture?
KILTRO: The photo shoot was an idea I shared with Luciano when we recently met. Luciano identifies as non-binary, and I, Kiltro, am transmasculine.
In the first photo, Luciano is the one wearing a mask. I’m the Dom, and my hands are holding the cigarette.
We decided to have this shoot-session because we both wanted to show people transmasculine folks can be doms as well. We like to think our photo shoots as erotic / sensual and non-explicit. As an asexual but also an artist I like to build experiences around desire. I find “regular” straight porn to be very boring. I’d like to build new things, post-porn where transmen are included in the ways we’d like to be seen/shown. That’s what I think about everytime I’m doing an erotic photo shoot. I also think a lot about being my own role model, since you don’t see many brown indigenous transmen in the porn industry. Luciano is also brown skinned, and we both try to show non-normative ways of playing, having fun and doing porn through sharing our bodies with others.
KILTRO: The photo shoot was an idea I shared with Luciano when we recently met. Luciano identifies as non-binary, and I, Kiltro, am transmasculine.
In the first photo, Luciano is the one wearing a mask. I’m the Dom, and my hands are holding the cigarette.
We decided to have this shoot-session because we both wanted to show people transmasculine folks can be doms as well. We like to think our photo shoots as erotic / sensual and non-explicit. As an asexual but also an artist I like to build experiences around desire. I find “regular” straight porn to be very boring. I’d like to build new things, post-porn where transmen are included in the ways we’d like to be seen/shown. That’s what I think about everytime I’m doing an erotic photo shoot. I also think a lot about being my own role model, since you don’t see many brown indigenous transmen in the porn industry. Luciano is also brown skinned, and we both try to show non-normative ways of playing, having fun and doing porn through sharing our bodies with others.
ALMANAC PRESS:
What’s it like to have a relationship with someone living with undetectable HIV?
KILTRO: I was dating Luciano who is HIV+ and undetectable. We decided to talk about this since we feel it’s something that might not be shared so openly. They brought up this question actually. For me it relates a lot to transness, in that it can be a source of discrimination despite it being a normal part of who we are. Society constantly stigmatizes trans people and people who live with HIV by trying to make them feel unlovable.
I think what I appreciate the most was being so open about sexuality, we had many talks about it, about how they felt around other past relationships and living with HIV, It’s definitely been a learning experience always. I’d like to remind anyone who’s reading this that lives with HIV you’re so deserving of real love and care.
It really hasn’t ever been a problem for me to date someone with HIV, in the past I had already done it. I never thought it would be a problem in our relationship. I think it’s very important to stop making it a big deal because it really is not.
KILTRO: I was dating Luciano who is HIV+ and undetectable. We decided to talk about this since we feel it’s something that might not be shared so openly. They brought up this question actually. For me it relates a lot to transness, in that it can be a source of discrimination despite it being a normal part of who we are. Society constantly stigmatizes trans people and people who live with HIV by trying to make them feel unlovable.
I think what I appreciate the most was being so open about sexuality, we had many talks about it, about how they felt around other past relationships and living with HIV, It’s definitely been a learning experience always. I’d like to remind anyone who’s reading this that lives with HIV you’re so deserving of real love and care.
It really hasn’t ever been a problem for me to date someone with HIV, in the past I had already done it. I never thought it would be a problem in our relationship. I think it’s very important to stop making it a big deal because it really is not.
“Society constantly stigmatizes trans people and people who live with HIV by trying to make them feel unlovable.”
ALMANAC PRESS:
What has it meant for you to be sexually involved with someone HIV+?
What has it meant for you to be sexually involved with someone HIV+?
KILTRO: It’s been alright! As I mentioned before, dating other people living with HIV made me learn about it earlier on. I haven’t been afraid of having sexual intercourse with Luciano without condoms, but we do worry about other illnesses and STIs. Since we both are sex workers we’d rather wear condoms to protect ourselves and our other partner(s). I appreciate a lot that we can talk openly about STIs.
ALMANAC PRESS: What are your favourite ways to express love/intimacy together?
ASTRO: I love cuddling and being in bed together. We’re disabled and very low energy some days. Sometimes we just spend time together sleeping and resting, recharging to face the world outside. It’s not easy to rest without feeling guilty or like you’re missing out on something more “exciting”, so it’s extra nice to take a nap and have someone next to you keeping you warm and sharing the moment.
Sometimes he sleeps and I take care of the cleaning chores, or I watch a movie while I stroke his hair and make sure he isn’t grinding his teeth so bad. Sometimes before bed if I’m struggling with my chronic pain he massages my sore spots, or helps me fall asleep when I’m too anxious.
KILTRO: I really enjoy non-verbal activities with my partner. I love when we’re in the same room drawing and doodling. I’m neurodivergent as well so rest has become an important ritual inside our relationship, we remind each other that it’s nice to rest, and well deserved too! I like doing chores for him when he’s working, I like it a lot when we’re just sharing a space together. Sometimes I’ll play videogames and he’ll be watching his shows. I love giving him massages too. Recently we’ve started having music jams where we play just for fun and those are my favourite as well.
“Our lives are sacred. Our existence means resisting genocide, colonization, hatred.”
ALMANAC PRESS: What does T4T mean to you?
ASTRO: For me it means choosing to love each other, and choosing to love yourself in the process. Relationships with cis people –even if they’re really great and supportive – just don’t hit the same.
Being trans can be such a marginalizing experience. You get shunned from family, public life, work spaces, school systems, healthcare. Cis people can absolutely have similar struggles, but not because of the same reasons. Having a relationship with someone who fights for the same rights as you gives you such a deep connection.
There’s less pressure and insecurity about your body and the way your life is. You look at this other beautiful tranny and you’re like hell yeah, they deserve so much! And why wouldn’t you give yourself that much admiration and love? You’re also a beautiful transgender experience. They chose you against everything, so fuck whoever hasn’t celebrated your trans life before.
Our lives are sacred. Our existence means resisting genocide, colonization, hatred. T4T means we can love one another in those ways only we know how to do. Because we understand the complicated families and childhood, the longing to belong somewhere, the feeling of loss. We understand the joy of existing authentically, the will to live and die fighting, the healing power of changing and growing without judgment.